Parenting Strategy: Ending the Power Struggle
Do You Feel You are in a Parenting Power Struggle?
One parenting tip can change your life from difficulty into joy. Reap the joy
that comes from applying power that results in struggle. Children of all ages
resist an authoritative approach to child discipline. They seem to have the
same inner drive the parents have - to have their way.
At times when parenting we get caught up in the overwhelming nature of juggling
work and children and spouses and home making activities and social lives. In
our rush we often forget our children are people just like us. Essentially the
only difference is they have less experience. Their needs and emotions are the
same as ours.
They need attention, purposely activity, food, affection, knowledge and love.
It may seem they need all of these at greater degrees than adults. Yet the needs
are the same. Adults often learn to mask their needs as they may have been taught
as young as age two.
Remove Your Need for Parenting Power
When you remove the need for power over your child, you will become patient,
understanding and kind. You will become a guide and provider. Your role will
become the “kid in charge” so your child respects you as in charge
and as understanding him. When your child feels “gotten,” he will
respond to you more positively. When your child feels you don’t understand,
he may scream, act out and do all sorts of things to try to force adults to
listen to his needs.
I learned very early that my toddlers would respond well to my firm tone of
voice if I only used it when it truly mattered. By seeing this magic accidentally
one day, I determined I would always say yes unless I had an important reason
for saying no. This built trust so when they were older, they never argued or
begged when I said “no.” They knew I would say “yes”
if it made sense to say “yes.”
Be a “yes” person and see what happens on the rare occasions when
“no” is essential.
Filed under: Parenting and Kids